The following are lists of tactics often used by abusers to maintain power and control over their partners.  As you look over the following lists consider whether these elements exist in your relationship:

 Using Intimidation

“Intimidation is the use of actions, words and looks that are meant to frighten, scare or bully your partner.”

Using emotional abuse

“Emotional abuse is any attempt to make your partner feel bad about herself or any attack on her self-esteem.”

Using Isolation

“Isolation is not a behavior but the result of many kinds of abusive behaviors.  Isolating your partner involves any attempt to control who she sees, what she does, what she wants for herself, what she thinks or what she feels.”

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

“Minimization is discounting the effects of an assault or abusive behavior. Denial is stating or indicating that what happened didn’t happen. Blame is shifting responsibility for an abusive behavior onto something or someone else.”

Using Children

“Using the children is any attempt to control your partner by threatening or damaging her relationship with her children.”

Using Male Privilege

“Male privilege is a belief system that contends that you as a man are entitled to certain privileges simply because you are a man.”

Using Economic Abuse

“Economic abuse is using control of the family income or limiting your partner’s access to money to keep her dependent on you or to get your own way.”

Using Coercion and Threats

“Making threats or using coercion is saying or doing something to make your partner afraid that something bad will happen to her if she doesn’t do what you want.  It’s like blackmail.”